Posts Tagged ‘the word FUCK’

Well my Fellow Fuckers, it’s been awhile. Work keeps fucking up my life! Going to try to get back in the swing of things here.

Well guess what? I came out as polyamorous to my mom and sister last weekend. I wasn’t so worried about talking about it to my sister. She’s pretty open since 3 of her cousins are gay, her best friend (a guy) is gay and was her “matron of honor” at her wedding.

Because of that I started my “outing” with her to try to gauge how our mom would feel. As expected, my little sis was fine with it. Actually, she is still upset that my son beat her to the punch at getting married and presenting our mom with the first (and second) great-grandchild.

So onto Mom…
As I’ve mentioned in previous posts she’s not exactly the open-minded sort. She’s your typical Bible-thumping, going to Hell, conservative so I was expecting a bit of a fight. Her comment was “Well, I don’t approve but your my son and I love you”.

I could have let it go at that but then she called my sister later on “crying” that she was “sad because of my life choices”.

Well Ms. Bible Thumper, I have a question for you. If your god created us in “his image” and created us as we are: straight, gay, lesbian, trans, poly, etc… then why is it “making a choice”? Why would he create us as we are and then hand down a set of rules that contradict how we are created? Seems a bit hypocritical to me to say “I’m going to make you gay, but don’t be attracted to men” or “You’re a sexual mammal, don’t have sex for pleasure”.

You want to believe a super natural being created the universe and all of us in it, that’s fine. But when you start imposing man-made structure around it and laws around how to live, or to dispute fact, then get the fuck out of my life.

Hello my Fellow Fuckers. Cross posted another douche-bag on the wall of shame today at the Douche Bag and Diva Chronicles.

Mr. Jackpot is now available on the Wall of Shame

Hello my Fellow Fuckers! Go check out Mr. Bold in the Douche-bag/Diva Chronicles

Me and my big fucking mouth! I’m in the midst of moving and I said one of the stupidest things I could have ever fucking said.

Actual fucking temperature!

Actual fucking temperature!

The buyers wanted to close today so I’ve been frantically packing up the house for the last several weeks. The plan was to get it all packed and staged, then on Groundhog Day/Super Bowl weekend, back the truck up to the house, load the fuck out of it and haul ass to storage. But the weekend before the move I commented to HellCat “Wow, I can’t believe it’s the end of January and there’s no snow on the ground”. Well Fuck My Life!

Thursday before the move it started to snow. And not the “ooh, there’s a 1/2 inch of pretty white stuff” that paralyzes any state south of the Mason fucking Dixon line. This was Colorado upslope, close to a foot of the white powdery kind of fucking snow! Then it got fucking cold.

What most people don’t understand about Colorado and snow and cold is this: It’s a DRY cold. And, unlike most of the country, once the sun comes out the snow just fucking disappears! But, I have a steep fucking driveway and half of it is shaded by these giant, fucking lodgepole pine trees.

So here I am last Saturday morning with my 17′ UHaul truck with rear-wheel drive and a 13% grade covered with snow. I’ve managed that daunting task before in my old front-wheel Escape but this was like trying to maneuver a snowboard with a giant box attached to the back of it UPHILL!

It took a plow, 180 pounds of salt and two days of sunshine (it never got above freezing the whole time) for enough of the snow to melt, sublimate, or just disappear before I could get the truck all the way up the driveway. I managed to get 2 loads in Monday. So thank you buyers from hell for needing to push out the closing date because there was no fucking way I was going to be completely out by today.

And guess what? That was the WARM period. It dropped to 14 below zero yesterday. That’s not Celsius my Fellow Fuckers, that’s Fahrenheit! I haven’t seen anything above 0 for almost 48 hours! But, I’ll take it. Unlike that southern state I grew up in, it’s only cold like this for a day or so which makes it tolerable. When it gets hot in that southern state, it doesn’t fucking cool off until November! It stays fucking hot for 6 months with little respite.

So yeah, it’s been a bit of a fucking pain in the fucking ass but that’s been more the snow than the cold.

 
Actual fucking temperature!

Yeah, so everyone in my office must think there’s a professional football team in Denver or something. All I’ve seen in the office the last week or so are people in orange jerseys with the number 18  and the word Manning on the back. What the fuck? And there’s some fucked up media campaign called “United in Orange”. It must be something about that Netflix series “Orange is the new Black” cuz I swear half these people are acting like prison thugs.

Seriously, yeah, there’s this big football game this Sunday. And there is at least ONE professional team in it, the Seattle Seahawks. But who am I to talk. I grew up in Dallas. I’m a lifelong Cowboys fan. And they fucking suck! I am NOT a Jerry Jones fan. I think he has taken them down the road towards perpetual mediocrity. My neighbor, grew up in Reading (unlike the rest of us educated folks, they pronounce it “Redding”, past tense and all. What??? Like “Yeah, I redding (reading) that book a year ago”. It’s like some fucked up Zaphod Beeblebrox time travel future-past tense bull shit. The past tense is READ RED) and is an Eagles fan. Sorry, tangent, back to my original thought.

Anyway, we were talking about how fucked up our teams were and I’m giving shit to one of the “United in Orange” prison mongers and I come up with the idea that in order to fix crappy teams and bring REAL fucking parity to the NFL that Roger Goodell should implement a rule similar to that of the UEFA in that teams that don’t place in the top-tier get bumped down to a lower league, and that teams that finish in the top of the lower league get invited back up to the top-tier. That would hopefully get JJ off his high horse and focused on actually fucking WINNING rather than making an almighty buck.

Alas… I will remain a disappointed Cowboys fan until Jerry dies. Unfortunately, as any Star Wars nerd knows, the Sith Lord always has a Sith in training. So even when JJ dies there will be another incompetent fuckup to replace him.

Just a bunch of random fucking shit today.

  1. If nothing seriously fucking negative happens then MS and I will be closing on our house in 2 weeks. That means I gotta have shit packed and ready to move by Ground Hog Day/Superbowl. Fuck me! The garage and basement are enough to give you the willies on a GOOD fucking day. Feeling a panic attack coming on
  2. Thanks for the feedback my Fellow Fuckers! The last few posts have provided me some excellent fucking motivation and inspiration. Keep it up! Now, between packing, dealing with all the fucked up shit in selling a house and trying to find another place to live, I might be able to squeeze in an hour or two of writing (a week?)
  3. Thank you Courtney at The Paris Review.  I’ve been contemplating ditching the Kindle eReader app on my smart phone and tablet since Journalist gave me the soft-copy paperback of The Glass Castle for Christmas. It was such a joy to have a physical book in my hands, smell the paper and ink, turn pages with my fingers and it brought back memories of all the physical books I’ve read in the past. Then I read Thoughts on Thoreau and that did it for me. I’ve also been talking with my friend BlueOwl who owns a book store in my neck of the woods. I’ve been feeling like eReaders and smart apps are killing the small, independent book store like hers. So all that said, no more eBooks for me
  4. Lots of shit happening this year. Last year, 2013, was the “Year of Change” for MS and me. This year’s mantra is “Experiences over things” or “The Year of Experiences”. Keeping with the spirit Thoreau’s Walden, part of that is “simplify, simplify, simplify”. Yeah, this fucking move is far short of simple but the end goal is this: make our lives simple and easy and work towards having more experiences
  5. Write! Write! Write! Did I make myself perfectly, fucking clear?

Thanks for letting me bend your ear my Fellow Fuckers!

Keep the feedback coming (positive AND negative so I can grow)!

There, I said it! Deal with it my Fellow Fuckers!

Just like I’ve embraced who I am as being polyamorous, I am embracing that I write. Do I get paid for it? Fuck no! Is it my career? Yeah, that’s not happening. But, I do love to write, and have, since I was in junior high school. In fact, my English teachers thought I’d be a writer one day. My favorite teacher even signed my yearbook as “To my future author”.
But it’s funny the curveballs life throws at you. In fact, most were thrown at me, close to my head. Other than a few that found their mark, left some nasty bumps and bruises, I’ve ducked and dodged my way to where I am now.
When I finished high school, my goal was to be a band director. Then I met my now ex-wife, Baby Mamma, who had a TRS 80 color computer II. It was still in the box and never opened. I spent the summer teaching myself BASIC and, drum roll please… Here I am today in my IT career.
My role the last few years has involved a lot of writing but it’s all technical writing. I’ve written white papers and content for database courses, written my own content for presentations at user group and community technical events, a few webcasts and, numerous presentations for executives while at my consulting job.
But it’s been in the last few years where I decided to pick back up on other styles of writing. Aside from this blog, I have another that I’ve reserved for mostly book and movie reviews. Additionally, I have several short stories in the works and in various stages of incompleteness. I also have some ideas for a novel. But, does that make me a writer?
MS bought me a book, about being a writer, for Christmas. I’m about 1/3 finished. But, what reading it has taught me is this: “if you write, you are a writer”. That’s another fucking point I’m embracing: I write and I enjoy doing so. Therefore, I am a fucking write!
Am I a good writer? I think so. That doesn’t mean there aren’t better and more prolific writers and authors out there. But I don’t fucking care anymore! I am a fucking writer! Therefore, I am embracing my penmanship, creative spirit, plugging in my keyboard and stocking up on pens, pencils and tablets.
And these are my tools: My laptop, my tablet and my handy-dandy notebook.  

Change

The notebook is really handy as I take down notes whenever an idea comes to me. I try to write as soon as I can, rather than wait for time. I feel my writing is
much better when I’m inspired and ideas are fresh.

When I’m inspired, and in the creative spirit, words fly from my fingertips with ease just like spells from Mickey’s wand in Fantasia.

Copyright Walt Disney Studios. Fantasia 1940

Just like this particular post. I started on it over a week ago. The first page and paragraphs came so easily and naturally. Then I got bogged down with work, moving, packing, and life. It progressed, stopped, started again haltingly like a teen driving their first manual transmission.
I have so many other topics on my mind that I had to finish this. I read the last few paragraphs I’d written and thought them total crap. It was time to revise, delete and chop. This, now, is my final draft. Am I completely happy? No! But, I finished it. It’s sufficient.

I guess I really am a fucking writer. I’m my own worst critic. Enjoy my fellow fuckers! And please, comment and give me some fucking feedback other than a “like”!

Ok, earlier I blogged about how the latest Android update was fucking with my autocorrect and replacing ordinary words with raunchier words. Things like “programs” to “orgasms”, “reaction” to “rectum” or “erection”. (It’s still at it by the way. Texted MS yesterday saying “the contractor is here”. Instead I sent “the vibrator is here” WTF!!!).

Well, I just did another update Tuesday this week. Now I get random, fucked up, mixed case words.
Examples:
“Finished mY training deck and dem0s”
“HaviNg fUn at the oPen hOuSe?”

What makes it even more fucking annoying is that the SUGGESTIONS are even fucked up and mixed case. Jesus Fucking Christ! What kind of algorithm are you using Android?

Ok, I just THOUGHT my IKEA experience was frustrating. That was until lunch today.

Retarded Dumb Fuck

Umbrella Boy

This dumb fucker nearly put my eye out while waiting in line at my local Subway sandwich shop.

Ok, MAYBE he could get away with it if he were

  • In New Orleans
  • Gay
  • Gay in New Orleans

Even then, that still probably wouldn’t fly infuckingside!