Posts Tagged ‘committment’

Love is...image used with permission: (c) loveiscomix.com)

love is… or Poly is…

We’ve had some great poly moments that last few weeks. The other night was no exception and it made me think of the old “Love Is…” comics (http://loveiscomix.com/).
But instead, I thought “Poly is…”. In that night’s case MS and I were both in bed, ready to call it a night. I was texting with HC who was at a meetup, MS was texting with a new guy she just started seeing and they were planning a movie date. Since I have the Fandango app on my smartphone she asked me to look up movie times for several movies near us.

So in short, “Poly is…” helping your wife and her new fling find a movie for date night. Feeling good!

 

(Love is image used with permission: (c) loveiscomix.com)

Well, I’ve been meaning to write this post for some time. But, I had a bit of a fucking let-down after my 30-day Fuck Challenge. I fucking lost my mojo! I lost my fucking inspiration!

It may have seemed like the last few “Debauchery” posts that I’ve been bragging (maybe just a bit). But, the reality is that these relationships all take work just like any traditional relationship (mono/vanilla/etc.). The people I see are still humans, and guess what? They all have fucking feelings! They all have fucking needs!

So while it may seem “fucking awesome” that I’m married, dating, and sleeping with all these people, it’s important as fuck to keep everyone’s feelings and needs in the forefront.

  • How much time does each relationship require? Is it OK to see Y once a week because she also sees R and H? How much of A’s time do I need? How much of my time does A need?
  • What level of commitment does each of these require? This is a bit more subjective than time. It’s fairly easy to find holes in people’s schedules, make time. But as far as commitment goes, what does each person want out of the relationship? Do they want something more casual? Do they want a more intimate and romantic relationship? It’s not fucking cool if one person thinks they are getting into an intimate, long-term relationship but the other thinks it’s more casual and physical. Someone’s gonna get hurt and get kicked in the fucking gut.

At this point, I do care a lot about each person I am seeing so it’s not always about amazing sex and fucking like wild animals. We talk with each other on the phone, we text with each other. We check in on each other. We care for each other. That takes time, effort and work. But guess what? It’s fucking worth it because I have some amazing fucking women in my life!