Archive for November, 2013

Well I was doing a bit of straightening in the bedroom (yeah, I know, it’s fucking Wednesday already) and just couldn’t help smirk as I cleaned off the night stands and put my shit away.

Let’s see… candles, candle wax, cat-o-nine tails, bottle of lube, and a tie-down. Yeah, I’d say that’s evidence of a pretty good fucking weekend!

Energy… The Newtonian law of Conservation states that “Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only converted from on form to another.”

Why am I speaking of energy with regard to relationships? It is because all relationships be they platonic, monogamous, straight, gay, or polyamorous, all require some level of energy. “You get back what you put in”.

Compared to established, long-term relationships, the level of energy in a new relationship is incredibly quite fucking high. (That’s not to say an established, long-term relationship does not require any energy, it’s just different).

That’s where this entry today is ultimately coming from… How the amount of time, and energy (or lack of each) resulted in the wreckage and carnage of emotions. There just wasn’t enough time and energy to get that plane off the ground.
My wife introduced me to A back in August at a birthday party for a mutual friend and we hit it off immediately. The problem is we live in different states and, knowing this, we tried to work with it. We saw each other when I got back from vacation and had a great weekend and time together. We started making plans for how we could see each other when I visited Tx and even making plans for A to come to Co. An opportunity arose to come back to Tx for a weekend where we had a great time at her house on “game night” with a bunch of friends playing Cards Against Humanity. Then A came up for the long-planned weekend. We seemed to be working around the confines of the long distance relationship and 800 miles.

And then… there was “the Sunday from Hell”. No details but it involved some hurt feelings, a lot a miscommunication and a meltdown by yours truly where I was a bit as an ass. (no, quite a big fucking ass). I returned to CO with my hurt feelings and into the arms of my friend Y.

Y and I had only been going out for a short time in CO and were still definitely in the “defining” stages of our relationship but, at this particular juncture, and she was working through some issues with her long-time boyfriend. We became sounding boards for each other, good friends to comfort each other. And, our friendship and relationship strengthened. I found myself spending more and more time with her. That meant less time for A in Tx even on the phone.
At the same time, A’s long time boyfriend E realized he could spend more time with her (aka long weekends) so they draw closer and rekindle their relationship.

The results of all this is that there just wasn’t time or energy to devote to building on what A and I had started. I could see the writing on the wall as our communication slowly petered away. And, since this last weekend was both A’s and my wife J’s I had been looking forward to seeing A. But I knew, I could sense it.

Last night A and I went to dinner to talk about the awkwardness of the last few weeks, the distance that seemed to creep in so fuckingly quiet-like. And just like that, the energy that was there 3 months ago, lifting us up off the ground was gone. We tried to pull up, but it was too late and we came crashing to the ground, emotions ripped apart left severed on the ground in the twisted wreckage of passion. The damage too sever to even triage. Casualties: 2.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not bitter. Yes, I am hurt and left with the sting of an ended relationship. But, not like other relationships past. This is more like the loss of “what could have been”.

Yet at the same time, that energy that was lost on take-off was transformed into other energy. Y and I are going much stronger. My relationship with my wife is much stronger.

Now, just like the laws of physics, energy has not been lost or destroyed just transformed.

What do these all have in common?

  • Orgasm
  • Lube
  • Rectum
  • Tit
  • Nipples

These are words my “Smart” phone is deciding are better replacements for the words I actually SWYPED. That’s not to say I’m not a bit fucking perverted myself. Maybe my phone is just channeling me and texting what I REALLY am thinking. I swear, I’ve proofed my texts before hitting send only see go “what the fuck!” when I see what was actually sent.
I am to the point where I actually leave in the “replaced” words parenthetically to show what I MEANT.

Examples..

This morning is one case…

Nipples

Nipples

From last night..

Flashing Tits

Flashing Tits

Programs or Orgasms?

Easy orgasms

Easy orgasms

Yeah… I like ass as much as tits!

Me “I wanted to see what reaction I’d get”
Phone: “I wanted to see what rectum I’d get”

And if you’re going to get some ass you might need something else

Me: “Yeah, I’d really like that”

Phone: “Yeah, I’d really lube that”

Maybe my phone isn’t so fucked up. Maybe I am 😉

I need a fucking nap!

Posted: November 7, 2013 in The word "Fuck"
Tags: , ,

Sooo…. fucking… tired….

Brain no workee.

Concentration… totally fucking shot!

Focus? Yeah, right.

Motivation? Fuck me!

Let’s go take a fucking nap!

Ender’s Game: Review

Posted: November 5, 2013 in Uncategorized

I had an an older blog where I used to write more random thoughts. I’ve let it lapse for the most part and really haven’t kept up with it. There’s poetry, musings, reviews, etc. A few months ago a fellow blogger read my review of the movie “The Words”. I wrote that almost a year ago but I felt it good writing and was surprised that someone had commented on it so much later. I am going to revive that site and keep it mostly for book and movie reviews.

That said, I just finished reading Ender’s Game last Saturday afternoon then saw the movie that evening. You can find my review on mtnslamgrass. Enjoy.

I am blessed with several amazing and beautiful women in my life right now. My wife and girlfriends are all incredibly beautiful in my eyes and as much as I admire them, believe how special they are, I’ve come to notice a very wonderful quality in each of them.
That is, while having sex with them, fucking them, when they cum, they become even more beautiful. I can see the transformation occur before my eyes.
I know people make fun of the “O” face saying it’s ugly, grotesque, comical, but this is different. This transformation doesn’t occur when they reach orgasm, rather, it’s more gradual. Yet, there is a point where during love-making that this metamorphosis is breathtakingly visible. Something softens in their facial features, their eyes become more intense and deep. Their faces glow, radiate.
Maybe it’s their inner beauty rising to the surface to complement the outer, physical attraction. Maybe it’s their reciprocal love, being returned.
Whatever it is, I truly appreciate it. As beautiful as they are to me, when that transformation occurs, I feel even more deeply connected to them.

Yep! You read that right Fellow Fuckers! Don’t worry, I’m not upset about it. It’s not that I don’t love my mom but… we just don’t agree on a lot of things.

She’s one of those ultra-conservative, right-wing religious types. Usually we butt heads over things like gay rights, same-sex marriage, etc. It’s not that I go out of my way to “push my liberal agenda” on her, but more from the aspect of replying to her when she posts something offensive on her Facebook page. One of the more recent was a “straight pride” meme. The picture was accompanied by a hetero couple, holding hands with the quip “If you are proud to me be a heterosexual, monogamous couple I dare you to post this”.
Underneath there was some fine print stating “95% of you who repost this will receive hate mail”.

Aside from her homophobic posts and rants, she also attempts to push her religious doctrine as well. There have been the “We need to push our congressional leaders to put ‘Under God’ back in the pledge”. I politely informed her that the US didn’t even have the Pledge of Allegiance until 1892 and not formally even adopted by the US until 1942. The phrase “Under God” was then added in 1954. Therefore, the US went “without God” as she believes, for 178 years. Then there are the daily reminders, usually via text, that “God loves me”, that I am “A child of God”, and that “We can find salvation through Jesus”.

Since I am more spiritual in nature and very philosophical, I asked her politely to stop sending me her religious indoctrination. That, unfortunately, sparked a huge debate (from her) about how being agnostic, or atheistic, or “open to other ideas and philosophies” was not how she raised me. Really mom? You raised me to be a closed-minded, unthinking automaton that accepts from the pastor without question? You raised me to not ask questions when things seemed contradictory? I mean, what the fuck?

So I guess it was about 2 or 3 weeks ago after she texted me another Bible quote that I responded with Om Mani Padme Hum and requested she repeat that over and over. Then I gave her the meaning, and how it was supposed to bring enlightenment, wisdom, compassion and understanding. Her response was “What’s your point”. At that time I was still getting her “I’m at IHOP with Riveroaks UMC Bible group”, “Remember, God loves you”.

Last night, I was out with my girlfriend for Halloween and sushi. We had cute costumes (my Jeff Lebowski/Dude outfit) and her in a sexy Army Pin-up girl (I mean sexy as fucking hell!). The restaurant was holding a costume contest and took pictures of people dressed up for their Facebook page. Yeah, that meant we’d be “outed in public” together. I asked her how comfortable she was about that (see yesterday’s post Polyamory and Consequences). She said she was fine with it so after the hostess took our picture, I also took pictures of us and posted a status update as well. I even tagged both of us so it was apparent that we were there together. I expected some backlash or comment from my mom since she Facebook stalks me frequently and makes snide comments (things like “Watch your tongue son” when I was in my “30-day Fuck Challenge”). So today? Nothing. Hmmm? That, and the fact that I hadn’t seen her ramblings in a while, got me thinking. I checked my friends list and guess what? Yup! She’s gone! I went to her page (it’s wide open and she does nothing to protect her privacy) and I was greeted with “You are not friends with her, send her a friend request”.

A little part of me is doing the happy dance! Fuck yeah!